Monday, December 10, 2012

Vampires and That Time of Month

I've read a lot of books about vampires.  And to some degree or another, they all need blood.  Usually human blood.  I've never, however, read about a vampire that prefers his/her blood source to be somewhat south of the border during their food source's monthlies.  

I know, the thought is kind of gross.  But bear with me. What a great compromise.  The vamp gets his/her nutrition and the human donor gets what is usually the requisite sexual side effects without any biting. Not to mention the added benefit to the human of less cleanup on aisle one once a month as well as what they might save on feminine hygiene products.

Obviously, some vampires probably enjoy the biting part.  But, really. They'd probably get a lot more takers if they didn't have to sink fang.  Maybe I'll try and work that into one of my books if I write one with vampires....  

In all his four hundred years as a vampire, Constantine was tortured by his insatiable need for human blood.  Sometimes, the hunger was so fierce, he tended to inadvertently kill his food sources.  And when he did, he wallowed in guilt. Then, one night he had an epiphany of sorts.  He was about combine his two favorite pass times - feeding and fucking - with a particularly luscious woman when he was momentarily distracted by the trickle of blood between her legs.  

Yum, he thought.  Now I can eat and eat at the same time.  

The lass was so overcome by the event, she insisted that each month she would allow him to feed from her. Constantine generally didn't reuse his meals, preferring to wipe their minds and then moving on to another.  But this arrangement satisfied his gastronomical requirements without even the slightest possibility of going too far.  

Soon, he had enough women that on any given night, there was at least one who was ready, willing and able.

Check back for tomorrow's episode of Vampires and That Time of the Month....